i wonder wat goes through the mind of everyone's mind on the long bus journey to sch or to work.a few things came to my mind today, along with new observations i've made even though it has been the same route all along.the 1st thing tt caught my attention were 2 ladies standing by their window sill, chatting away as the usual morning crowd bustled by. the content of their conversation i do not noe. wat i do noe, is tt it definitely does not include current affairs or even stock market movements.just laid back, easy conversation.i've always like the morning breeze, the smell of fresh air brushing against ur face. which is y i make it a pt to take a deep breath upon alighting to take in the luxurious smell of greenery from the nearby rainforest near my sch. it starts my day fresh with hope n laughter.however, it seemed beyond imagination to c myself as fortunate as the 2 ladies by the window sill. all these years of schooling, mornings were always used for rushing n getting ready for sch. when there's a break, i work so hard n so long tt there were just no time for tt kind of laid-back luxury.n 1 main reason would b tt i would hardly give up precious slp time to wake up to talk. esp to no 1 in particular.* * * * * * * ** *** * * * * * * * * * * * * *
as the bus continues its journey, a second observation struck my curiousity.
a sign displays: "serves breakfast". n i wonder y the owner hung the sign without opening his stall early enough to cater in the prime morning hours?
every so often when mum do not cook breakfast, i'll have a hard time looking for a substitute. so wat purpose does the sign serve?
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the bus rounded a bend n into the expressway n jerk me away from all thoughts of breakfast n the nots. my attention was fixed on worries abt the depression on the pan island expressway, more widely known as PIE.
i drifted into imagination of the bus moving across the depression n the road gave way, bringing us down with it. will it b my last bus ride?
*laughs* a little neurotic i guess.
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recently i've learnt sth new of the "drasticity" (if there's even such a word) of my fren's depression. it's not just the usual come n go "emo-ism". it got me quite worried n there's nth i can do. she doesn't seem to want to share her problems with anyone, not even her closest fren.it's the same feeling of helpless-ness when another fren was going through her downs. except, this is alot worst.i can't even begin to describe how i feel.she picked up a bad habit. she's afraid i'll discriminate against her. i won't, i just dun like the fact tt she is doing it.jings pick up the bad habit aft a rough patch with vincent n hasn't quit since, even aft promising so many times tt she would.i guess the only thing left to be done is to meet up with her often since she won't do it in front of me.at times of helpless-ness like this, lishan will always wish for daph to b ard bcos she'll always noe wat to do. i used to think it was redundant since she's never gonna come back to her life anymore. however, it did not occur to me tt at times like these, i'll wish for cat to b ard to.i wish tt she is a fren of all my frens who has gotten into downs n couldn't get out. i wish she's here to offer some advice as to wat i should do. she always seem so strong, always know wat to do.even though u noe she's vulnerable inside, u still want to be attracted to her n depend on her. she made things easy. yet it's silly of me cos like daph, she's nv gonna come back into my life like it was in the past.she's taught me the hard way to hold on to ppl i treasure. mostly secondary frens, i want to hold on to them like life buoys. yet i feel them slipping away from my grip, slipping into the water, drowning me.*laughs* i m getting emotional. the tears r coming.i've learnt to laugh in teary moments.= people r afraid to b themselves for fear of judgement. it is the root of all hypocrisy n the power of gossip. =
♥ 11:34 AM
