i don't even noe y shld i even feel anxious abt returning to this space, this familiar space. i don't even noe y shld i even feel afraid of visiting my own blog. afraid of the unknown, or afraid of the known?n she said: "don't make a fool of urself again".tt's all it takes to get all the warmth in my body radiating. a little too emo but it kinda made me realise how much i love this girl.if there can only b a true love in this world, then i would let it b her. mayb i shld change my sexual orientation to dating sissies. is tt considered change? i m not too sure.passed the underground passage again today. the blind man continues singing his song, earning his keep. i have no idea y but each time i pass, my heart goes all the way out to him. mayb it's the way he sings, singing away beautifully, making me wanna hug him. n all i did was donate a few coins.all i did. all i did was to stand there watching him sing, feeling the peace. all i did was to stand there while he sang the same song thrice.don't u just love loitering alone?still, i supposed a walk would b good. n i din wanna let my mum go over alone. uncle's showing signs of a stroke.*sigh* i suppose tt's wat happens when u get old, esp if u come from a family of many siblings. watching them fall ill one by one, dying away n wondering when is ur turn. i wonder if tt's how my mum feels too?1st to leave was the greatest aunt's husband due to an accident. next to fall sick was my second uncle. now, it's the oldest uncle.it's kinda sad, esp when u r old enough to b a senior citizen to c all this diseases. he was the kind of hardy old man, jovial like the second uncle too. when we were much younger, we spend the whole holiday bugging him to bring us out to sea, to his fish farm, to feed his little fishes n tt big black dog. n the latter would b for ice-cream.now they r all sick.when u r feeling low like this, u start wondering abt all other negative stuffs. tt's how i started worrying for her again. heard she's attached so he'll probably look aft her, making sure she's ok.then again, tt might not always b the case right? which better person to say tt than urs truly?mayb we'll try the appeal letter again. mayb we'll try praying to make sure she's ok. mayb.too random, absent for too long. next time i'll b back with some poetry n the likes. chinese words somehow have a calming effect on me.btw, reaping is an intellectual movie. nice~meeting the hp technician tmr n the girls for dinner tmr. it'll all b fine i suppose.(btw, hee sent me an email. how weird.)i think our slippers r lovely.been losing weight on a massive scale.i think it's the appetite.ain't slping well.slept nice for the past 2days.had to wake up early though.threadded brows too.hurt a hell lot.feel good kinda pain.ain't angry with anonymous.
it's only cos he din noe me.
just like how they dislike her.
just like how they din noe her too.
realised realism is still very much relevant.
ppl dun like to b seen as weak.
balance of power.
m insane.
♥ 6:02 PM
