for the purpose of blogging, i'll b using metaphors in this post.
i dreamt tt i was blowing O's last night. n if u noe wat's tt, u r good man. anyway of all the dreams i had recently, tt was even least bothering and i wonder y. wat would have been a good reality turned into a bad dream and wat would have been a bad reality was actually not so bad a dream aft all.
n tt's the really disturbing thing; me who had been an anti-Os most of my life was doing it like everyone else. n the only thing i wondered was y i din felt uncomfortable like every should on their 1st attempt? of cos, i've been in the centre of the big O too much of the time recently tt i m already not so much of an anti-Oer anymore. n i only realise i wasn't feeling uncomfortable cos it's really a dream.
but sometimes, my dreams can just be so realistic tt i wonder if i had slp walked or travelled to another universe since i've been known to do quite abit of slp talking. but seriously, just how many vivid dreams can one have in their lifetime or in a period of time? aren't dreams supposed to be vague and dreamy, tt's y they are called dreams?
i guess this post is getting a little emo to the end cos of the phonecall i received this morning from her. though the facts of the case is a little peculiar, i can't help feeling uneasy cos of the many similiaries and the many more complexities of it. of cos, being with me through the hardest period, not needing to do much tt now i feel i've grown up more, it's time for me to do my part too. then again, i m really unwilling if things turn out otherwise. but it's just really really complex.
n this new ME is really kinda scary which i think many ppl might find unacceptable. it's just a matter of how much i can and WANT to conform to keep things and people who actually mean sth to me?
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6.55pm
if in news there's a live telecast, this is it for the blogging world.
i just realise there's actually one thing tt disgust me beyond limitation. n that is, being bullied. the main pt here is not just being pushed ard as with the many ppl of which a significant has already been condemned on this blog. the one thing that i absolutely abhor is being bullied.
of which u'll c me swinging to the extreme u've never seen. as the fool had prob just realised in abt 5mins ago, she has never, i repeat NEVER, in our 9years of friendship or so ever since me in that state before.
n if it was the old me, she most prob would not have seen it in her entire life ever. but now, the new me she has seen.
this kinda breakout and infrequency of it scares even myself. i've never tried to have my face so numb and my hands cramp to the extent of being incapable of even calling someone. HONESTLY, i got a shock myself. which i guess is part of the reason i called her too.
hence in conclusion, push me yes, ride over my head, NEVER.
