today had been a great day, leisurely fly a kite on a not too bad weather with one of my closest friends.
i came home, took a nap, and the day turned too.
my sis was upset that that i overslept and did not accompany her out as promised, and my brother shared a small portion of his life which never fails to disturb me and i get worried as this little "badness" if neglected will only get more and more severe.
will there come a day when it really become too late?
recently i had not been the happiest, struggling with those moments in life and facing the ugly side that i had come to recognise and yet unable to to reconcile. sometimes it surfaces and i brood over how i should go about changing things while there are other times where it simply laid ignored.
it set me thinking about new year resolutions and the meaning of family.
it strikes me particularly hard especially as the year is drawing to an end because i vividly remembered how upset i was last year at how
little mildstones i had accomplished over the year and i look back at how this year had passed and i know that when the year closes, i would have quite a nice list as compared to last year.
the problem is, i still am not happy.
i now have a list of accomplishments for year 2011, but i realised that when it came to my family, i have been more than selfish. i can't help but ask myself wat have i done for each and everyone of this group of people, whom i may not be the closest to, but definitely more important than anything in my life.
to my aging parents, to my sister and to my brother.
i wished i could do more for them but i did less than wat i could have done. it hurts because i strived to do so many things this year, learn so many things and accumulated so many new experiences but i have failed to notice that i should have spent more on them than anybody and/or anything else.
the things i tried to change, the way i am unable to.
two months left and i will definitely try to do whatever i can to improve things. hopefully, when the year ends, i'll be able to appraise myself and be happy with the results i have achieved.
and they say deepavali is the festival of lights, hope this light can brighten up a portion of my life and lead me somewhere.
